I think it's fascinating how it's so much more than just "God told me this..." where it's not even an understanding but a feeling... and it's not just a hunch but more like "I get it." I'm feeling pretty bitter about 2009... honestly, 2009 was one hell of a shitty year... or at least it just left a horrible aftertaste. You could say all of my regrets, mistakes and disappointments are all here on the table and I'm just looking at them and thinking... "wtf..." Why did all this shit have to happen? why couldn't it have worked out the way I wanted it to? But it doesn't work that way, lol, I can't see all ends... that's life, taking every step blindfolded... it's just a matter of faith... we either believe that there is a hand guiding us or that it's all just one sick joke, lol. I believe that his hand is always there... even when I don't feel like believing I know it's there. It's like when I'm feeling shitty he makes his presence known and as much as I want to keep rolling around in my sweet sorrow, I can't help but smile a little, shake my head and chuckle and say "okay... you win, I give in."
Now I wanna spend some time healing... take a stroll on the mountain tops... walk through the tall grass... white shores... crystal blue water...Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
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