Perspective

This post is about choices... particularly how I should be making them.

Now I said something in my last post that was a little unclear, even to me. A lot of times my writing is very scattered and written in portions over time so sometimes I might write out of context or come to a better conclusion later, but hey that's life right? Anyways what I said that I'd like to clear up is this: "Even if we choose to respond the right way to the hit, the trauma still occurs; the trauma still lingers."

I don't think trauma will always stay with us. I think it has the ability to linger and fester for a long time, however, that's completely up to you. Now don't get me wrong, I know trauma can be quite intense and strong but it is still up to the person to decide how the trauma is dealt with. The healing is completely decided by you. I think sometimes we have the tendency to view trauma and hurt as something that has control over us as if it were some sort of living and breathing entity. I'm not saying it's not real I'm saying it's our reaction to trauma that creates something more than it actually is. It may feel like trauma/hurt has control over you but ultimately we have the ability to respond however which way we want. Typically, and I'm sure it's proven, that we naturally react certain ways to traumatic events but that doesn't mean we remain that way; we can choose to change.

I believe that it's all about choices... and perspective.

I used a simple illustration in a previous post regarding perspective that involved painting. Every painter knows that you must take a step back and look at your painting from afar during the process, otherwise you loose perspective and things won't look right. You see, there are so many details that need to be put right and the eye can pick up errors so good, however, the only way to see all of the errors is to stand back and look at them from a distance. I personally like details, and I like them so much that I get caught up in spending too much time zoomed in and, of course, as soon as I zoom out something is out of scale, light, color, etc.

I need to use this practice in life more often than I actually do. There are so many situations in life where I know I should have used this tactic. If you can look at yourself from a distance you can see what you're doing wrong, how you sound, your body language and just to hear yourself say something can seem completely different than how you imagined it to sound. Sometimes we say things without even thinking about them before we say them... that's a discipline that is not just granted. It's always difficult to censor what you're about to say especially when you're distracted by emotions.

I was having a really good conversation with a really good friend of mine the other day... and it was funny because we both shared our problems or concerns on life issues and essentially gave each other the same advice in the end. A good laugh was shared and we both realized how important perspective can be...

A lot of times I think my problems will come back to haunt me... I think that has to do with letting go. It's hard to let go because encountering hurt and trauma is not an easy task. As I mentioned earlier it's up to us to decided what we do with these encounters. They will come back to haunt us if we believe they will. By believing that these things will always affect us is giving power to the lie. If I say it's gonna take me a long time to heal then it's gonna take a long time to heal. And it's so hard to maintain a mental strength especially when there's negative force occurring...

Now I'm gonna take a trip down spiritual lane... I don't like talking about this casually because it's a delicate topic and one that has been thrown around carelessly. But this is something that I could be a lot more bold about, so I'm going to be careful not to step on any toes. I personally believe that our hurt in life is greatly affected by negative force or let's just say it, an evil force. By what we see happening in the world can you honestly say to yourself that there is no such thing as evil? I think man is swayed by such a force that it drives him to unbelievable lows. And I think what clouds our judgment is negative force. What brings a man to abandon all rationality and embrace darkness? But let us not forget that the choice still remain ours. This reminds me of a scene in the movie Inception where the main characters are trying to come up with a way to convince their subject of a foreign idea. One the characters suggest they use a negative memory to sway the subject's opinion, however, the main character corrects him and states that a positive always trumps a negative. We gravitate more to positive themes like redemption, freedom, righteousness... love. I heard someone say once that between darkness and light only one of the two can change the other, and that's light. Light illuminates life. Light allows us to see. Have you ever stood outside on a summer afternoon, closed your eyes, and faced the sun? Imagine yourself doing that now or if the sun's out now go out and do it... feel the rays cascading down on your face... feels good doesn't it?

This is the way I see it: we are good people but swayed by a negative force. However, if we grasp the light it will show what is hurting us, then we can use the light to clear up our darkness. Negative force is all around us... some people get labeled as grouchy, bitchy, sharp, douche bags, stick up the ass type people, etc. A lot of times we say that's just the way these people are or that's just their personalities but if you take a step back, shine some light on it, you'll see that they're just people who are hurting. It may seem at times that there is so much darkness, but the truth is, there's always more light and it's stronger.

Life is all about choices. The best ones are seen in the light, along with perspective.